AGE
“Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.”
— Unknown
ALEXANDER McQUEEN
“It is important to look at death because it is a part of life. It is a sad thing, melancholy but romantic at the same time. It is the end of a cycle – everything has to end. The cycle of life is positive because it gives room for new things.”
“I want to empower women, I want people to be afraid of the women I dress.”
“I’m not big on women looking naive. There has to be a sinister aspect, whether it’s melancholy or sadomasochist.”
AMY POEHLER
“If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am 15 to 20 percent there. Which I think is great progress. I am not underestimating the access I get as a BLOND, WHITE lady from AMERICA. Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men. It can really detract from the face. … Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.”
“Going from crying to laughing that fast and hard happens maybe five times in your life and that extreme right turn is the reason why we are alive, and I believe it extends our life by many years.”
“Getting older also helps you develop X-ray vision. The strange thing is that the moment people start looking at you less is when you start being able to see through people more.”
“Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again.”
“Don’t get undressed and start pointing out your flaws or apologizing for thing you think are wrong with your body. Men don’t notice or care. They are about to get laid! They are so psyched. Men are very visual, so if you don’t want them to look at your stomach just put fake mustaches on your breasts to distract them.”
“The lessons? Women are mighty. George Clooney loves bits. Doing something together is often more fun than going it alone. And you don’t always have to win to get the pudding.”
“Let me take a minute to say I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how “˜bossy’ can seem like a sh*tty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and to celebrate.”
“If it’s not funny, you don’t have to laugh.”
“Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It’s expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.”
“Saying ‘yes’ doesn’t mean I don’t know how to say no and saying ‘please’ doesn’t mean I am waiting for permission.”
“Apologies have nothing to do with you. They are balloons in the sky. They may never land.”
CHILDHOOD
“What we remember from childhood we remember forever – permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.”
— Cynthia Ozick
“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairytales.”
— Albert Einstein
DEATH
“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”
— Ashley Montagu
“Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.”
— John Muir
“Watching a peaceful death
of a human being
reminds us of a falling star;
one of a million lights
in a vast sky
that flares up
for a brief moment
only to disappear
into the endless night
forever.”
— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
“You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
“You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father’s bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin’ was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn’t. Little Forrest, he’s doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He’s really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He’s so smart, Jenny. You’d be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can’t read it. I’m not supposed to, so I’ll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don’t know if Momma was right or if, if it’s Lieutenant Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”
–Forrest Gump
“I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous-not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. . . . That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful. . . . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”
— Ann Druyan
FEMINISM/WOMEN
“Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t, too.”
— Will Rogers
FOOD
“Is there anything better than butter? Think it over, any time you taste something that’s delicious beyond imagining and you say ‘what’s in this?’ the answer is always going to be butter. The day there is a meteorite rushing toward Earth and we have thirty days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter. Here is my final word on the subject, you can never have too much butter.”
— Julie Powell
“If you like shellfish, do me a favor: next time you see a really big cockroach, just tell yourself, ‘If that could swim, I’d eat it.'”
— Jim Gaffigan
“Some of my favorite things on this planet are from Wisconsin: beer, bratwurst, cheese, and, of course, my wife, Jeannie, in that order. Good food is everywhere you look. If you visit someone’s house in Wisconsin, a cheese plate is put out. It could be eleven in the morning or ten o’clock at night. There will be a tray with Cheddar cheese and summer sausage. As a result of this plethora of edible happiness, people in Wisconsin eat all the time. Eating is important in Wisconsin. Even the beloved Green Bay football team is called the Packers. The state is about eating. It makes sense that the serial killer from Milwaukee was also eating his victims. He was simply doing what a serial killer from Wisconsin should do.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Nobody really wants fruit. We only act like we do. A false desire for fruit is oven into the fabric of our culture. We are told that Adam and Eve were kicked out of paradise for eating an apple. An apple? Would an apple ever really tempt you? I would’ve look at the serpent, ‘An apple? Uh, cover it in caramel and come back to me. You got any cake back there?'”
— Jim Gaffigan
“My advice to you, dear reader, is to eat well and eat frequently. Our time here is pretty short. It’s filled with disappointments and drama, and food can make it better. I’m not proposing that every meal be a Shake Shack burger or a falafel, but it is important that you enjoy your life. That’s why a decent cheeseburger is always a good decision.”
— Jim Gaffigan
“I’m sure some of you are reading this and thinking, Sorry, white-trash guy. I don’t eat at McDonald’s. I have friends who brag to me about not going to McDonald’s. ‘I would never go to McDonald’s.’ I always think, Well, McDonald’s wouldn’t want you because you’re a jerk. I’m tired of people acting like they’re better than McDonald’s. You may’ve never set foot in a McDonald’s, but you have your own McDonald’s. Maybe instead of buying a Big Mac, you read US Weekly. That’s just a different type of McDonald’s. It’s just served up a little differently. Maybe your McDonald’s is telling yourself your Starbucks Frappaccino is not a milkshake, or maybe you watch those Real-Housewives-of some-large-city shows. It’s all McDonald’s. It’s McDonald’s of the soul: momentary pleasure, sure followed by incredible guilt, eventually leading to cancer. We all have our own McDonald’s.”
— Jim Gaffigan
HEARTBREAK
“[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.”
–T.E. Kalem
“And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart”
— “Graceland”, Paul Simon
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
— James Baldwin
HOLIDAYS
“Christmas — that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance — a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.”
— Augusta E. Rundel
“It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.”
— Scrooged
“I feel lucky now. Little met never would’ve seen that coming, but it’s true. It’s no longer about presents, though I enjoy those and encourage you all to send me some. It’s not about a morning of joy or any one moment. It’s about all the moments. Any moment, really, when I can step back from the bustle of life and feel the warmth of a fond memory, or appreciate a new experience, or bear witness to goodwill, or even catch the reflection of the Christmas tree lights in the window and feel, in every way, home. That’s all Christmas. You just need to keep your eyes open. So for everyone kind enough to read these words, those who celebrate Christmas and those who don’t, I wish you one thing: open eyes. There’s plenty of wonder out there. And you don’t have to be a kid to find that exciting. Merry Christmas.”
— Rex Huppke
JENNY MOLLEN
“Before you meet the love of your life, there’s usually one guy you date that you try to convince yourself is him. Let me save you some time. He’s not.”
“We live in a society that propagates the notion that a successful woman is hot; has perfect teeth and hair; loves giving blow jobs; drinks beer but doesn’t gain weight; has a boyfriend she isn’t sick of after two years of him not proposing; looks young enough to still get carded buying cigarettes, dresses like she works for Anna Wintour; and never looks like she’s trying as hard as she’s actually trying to be motherf*cking perfect.”
“When women ask you to be in their wedding, they might as well just say, “˜give me a check for a thousand dollars and all your attention for the next six months.'”
LIFE
“If plan A fails, remember you have twenty-five more letters left.”
— unknown
“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.”
— Leo Buscaglia
“Take hold of your own life.
See that the whole existence is celebrating.
These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious.
The rivers and the oceans are wild,
and everywhere there is fun,
everywhere there is joy and delight.
Watch existence,
listen to the existence and become part of it.”
— Osho
“Our lives are a flood of images and we are collectors who keep a strange assortment of images: moments of extreme emotion, pain, beauty, and fear stand out. Events we’re taught to remember: weddings, graduations, births, deaths. Then there are the millions of images that we can’t shake out of our heads, that come to us at strange times — things we can’t remember why we remember: the gold threads in an old stereo speaker, the way the light hit a thousand cars in a parking lot by the water, the face of a stranger in a restaurant, a friend standing in a pool — you can’t remember where, slapping the water with the flat of her hand. Memory is a sieve that holds curious things. A life is a trail of strange, colorful memories.”
–Risa Mickenberg
“Most of life is choice — the rest is pure luck.”
— Unknown
“Whether it’s good or bad, it won’t last long.”
— Unknown
“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”
— Asha Tyson
“Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.”
— Chinese Proverb
“A smart person knows what to say. A wise person knows whether or not to say it.”
— Unknown
“Never confuse education for intelligence.”
— Unknown
“A person who is nice to you but not the waiter is not a nice person.”
— Unknown
“Be good, and if you can’t be good, be careful.”
— Unknown
“Nostalgia – it’s delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound.” It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards… it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It let’s us travel the way a child travels – around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.”
— Don Draper, Mad Men
“The cure for everything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea.”
— Isak Dinesen
“Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.”
— CS Lewis
“Beyond the rightness or wrongness of things there is a field, I’ll meet you there.”
— Rumi
“I’m not a big ‘everything happens for a reason’ guy, because that suggests that there’s more order to life than there is.”
— Jon Hamm
“Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”
— Chief Justice John Roberts
LOVE
“Love is for the lucky and the brave.”
— Unknown
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
— Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
“You’re not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you’ve met, she’s not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.”
— Robin Williams as Sean in Good Will Hunting
PLANET EARTH
“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe:, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
— Carl Sagan
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
— George Carlin
RANDY PAUSCH
“Brick walls are there for a reason. They let you know how badly you want things.”
“Find the best in everybody. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out.”
“When there’s an elephant in the room introduce him.”
“Believe nothing a man tells you and everything he shows you.”
“Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.”
“All my adult life I’ve felt drawn to ask long-married couples how they were able to stay together. All of them said the same thing: “We worked hard at it.”
“Don’t bail. The best of the gold’s at the bottom of barrels of crap.”
“Be good at something. It makes you valuable.”
“We all stand on the dart board and very few of us catch the darts. Do not think it is unfair. It is fair but you are unlucky.”
SEASONS
“Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.”
— William Cullen Bryant
“I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape — the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.”
— Andrew Wyeth
SLEEP
“Without sleep, we all become two year olds.”
— unknown
STRENGTH
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”
— Mary Anne Radmacher
“You can’t appreciate the good weather until you’ve been through a few shitty winters.”
— Paul Rudd
“Joy is the ultimate act of defiance.”
— Unknown
“Get back on the motherfucking path.”
— Sheryl Sandburg, Option B